You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
