every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
