I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
