i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
