Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
