i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
