covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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