Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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