No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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