We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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