I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i dont even know how to be here
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
