haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I forget how to act sober
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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