I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Barsexuality is the new black.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
