DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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