I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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