he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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