R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
How's work?
Spinning.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
