Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
