So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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