My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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