so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
