Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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