ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
