Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
