let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
