yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
