I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
