butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
