Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
