Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
