Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
