he shaved USA in his pubs
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
