SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I FOUND THE LEGS
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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