i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
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