Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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