every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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