I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
