True but thats because hes a fetus.
just tell him i said nine months
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Randomize
