Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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