roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
