i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
