Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize