he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
