remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
