were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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