Swine flu. Run for my life!
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
