i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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