Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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