im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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