I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Dignity is for republicans.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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